Chrono Chaos: Guild Meeting

Attention! Attention! I call this meeting of Chrono Chaos to order!

Hey, Spinks, could you stop spamming guild chat about your [Dwarf Loincloth of Irredeemable Itchiness] please? You can sell it later. Yes, in our brand-new guild auction house. Alongside of my [Bartle’s Bits].

While our eon-spanning mission of returning to 2007 to enter us all into guild beta has hit some considerable snags — curse you Albert Einstein! — we have much to report in terms of success!

First of all, due to our enormous influence, Snafzg of The Greenskin bowed to peer pressure and released a brand new comic strip, thus giving small children everywhere a reason to live once more. It also cures athlete’s foot, if you print it out and rub it between your toesies.

Second, the influences of our pretend guild seem to be impacting the time stream even without a functional time traveling vehicle. Shortly after forming this courageous group of millenium-tinkering bad boys (and girls), the ripples of our presence have gone so far as to hit Square Enix. This butterfly chain reaction in the time stream has affected them to the point where they are re-releasing the sacred game Chrono Trigger — from which our guild logo has stolen quite admirably — later this year on the DS. Victory!

Thirdly, I’m pleased to see our members taking initiative to spread the word and power of Chrono Chaos across the internet — from here to there to up there to around the corner. You guys just impress the heck out of me!

What… hold on, I’m getting a tell.

A/S/L? Seriously?

Hm… okay… probably should be polite and respond… “Age: 72. Sex: Eunich. Language: Egaugnal.” There, let’s see them get all hot over that!

That should do it for today. As our best guild engineers tinker with the circuits of time, we’re going to have a fun guild activity that I have made up on the spot and call “Guild Tag”. Here’s how it goes:

1. I’m going to go “hide” on another WAR blog’s comment section and post “Chrono Chaos: find me!” as a comment.
2. The first Chrono Chaos member to find that comment and reply to it saying “Gotcha!” is the next person to hide, wherever they want — just try to stay within the WAR blogosphere and post “Chrono Chaos: find me!”. Sound cool? Cool!

Meeting dismissed! Come find me!

Chrono Chaos Guild Roster [Est. 2008 A.D. – “Anywhere, Anywhen”]:

[Retconned:]

• Brotik: Founding Father (20 elf ears)

[Original:]

• Syp: Fearful Leader
• Darkgobbo: Orc Translator
• BMR: Lazy Cousin of BMX
• Matt: Time Machine Hog
• CunningB: Lunch Herder (20 elf ears)
• DexterDouglas: Party On, Dudes!
• Moxie: Yes, Ma’am (20 elf ears)
• The Hammered: Making Awkward Comments Since 2008
• Vagrant: Touched In The Head (20 elf ears)
• Werit: Time Dwarf
• Khaos: Momma-In-Law’s Boy
• Lske: Guild Plumber
• roXet: eXtreme eXcitement
• Mekoia: Pimple Patrol
• Qatol: Impossible To Spell In Scrabble
• Din A3: AAA Quality
• Regis: And Kelly Ripa
• Johnny Walker Black: Uwe Boll’s Batboy (40 elf ears)
• Medrin: Captain Fun-un-un (20 elf ears)
• Scarybooster: Selfesteembooster
• Kattz: Dr. Kattz
• Paul: Oriel Oreos
• Ramathorne: Day Dreamer (30 elf ears – 10 extra for the comic!)
• Vort: He’s Got The Black Lung, Pop (20 elf ears)
• James Taylor: First Names For Last Names
• Dr. Worm: Not A Doctor, But A Worm
• Crimetank: Treads Lightly (20 elf ears)
• Smashydoom: Preemptive Strike
• Across: Down
• Slymie: Cutest Gross Name Ever
• Arbitrary: Book ‘Em, Danno
• Artean: Tonight We’re Sending You Back To The Future (20 elf ears)
• Alex: Duct Tape Master (20 elf ears)
• Sorain: Afraid of Only Kittens
• Curien: He’s Got Our Back
• Ran: He Also Walks (20 elf ears)
• Tigaj: Jagit Backwards
• DMNYO: Dynamo!
• Betadan: Still In Closed Betadan
• Stigus: Double Agent
• Wingo: Bus Driver
• JayDizzle: Fo Sho (20 elf ears)
• Clash: Fashion Police
• Trooper: He’s Super
• Rombur: Death-Dealing Robot From 1815
• Alanti – The Lost City of Alanti

To apply to the pretend time traveling guild known as Chrono Chaos, just post a comment to this article saying something like “I’m in!” or “Word up, g-dawg!”. We’ll know what you mean.