The Bear NecessitiesNovember 14, 2008
The other day I opened my e-mail to see a message from my friend Moxie entitled “Merry Christmas A Bit Early!” I was intrigued. It turns out that her hubby bought a copy of Red Alert 3 and got the code for Warhammer Online’s Korssar’s Helm inside it, so they passed it along to me as an early Christmas gift.
Could I be entrusted with such great responsibility? Would I know how to properly wield this helm, that made Syp look like a midget Communist and could transform her into the awesome power of bear once in an hour? Would I charge small children for bear rides around Altdorf market square? The possibilities were endless, but I knew this: the Age of Bear had begun:
Bear doesn’t look like one of those happy-go-lucky types, like Fozzy the, or Yogi, or Teddy Ruxpin. Bear looks more like one of those chastising, ticked-off bears that want to make you realize you’ve done something terribly wrong in your life before mauling you upside your head. You know. Like Smokey.
Bear is a little stiff in the animation department, but he sure likes to jump! See Bear jump! Jump Bear Jump!
“So you use that axe to execute people? Yeah, I guess that’s okay. I just rip their heads off with my claws and then devour their children with my massive jaws. But, hey, axe. Nice to know you have that to fall back on.”
Whew! What smells in here? Why, it’s Bear butt! Bear butt in the palace! My work here is done.
When Bear needs to get to his manicurist ASAP, he transforms into Bearcopter! Go go gadget bear!
Thanks again, Moxie and Norbert!