Beer!October 23, 2008
I write this to you all from a shadowy hotel in the middle of Nowhere, Indiana… and it may be my last post ever. At least until Monday. Sometimes you just gotta get away from home for a mini-vacation, and my wife (Code Name: Preggers) and I are heading off to a weekend family retreat with my parents, brothers and assorted nephews and nieces. I am a Big Hit with nephews and nieces, mostly because I’ve discovered that uncles don’t have to be responsible so much as weird and kooky, and I’m like that normally. I have a six-pack of silly string, all ready to go.
Anyway, that’s not what this is about. This is a serious, contemplative post about beer. Beer: bread in a can. Beer: what bellies and goggles are made of. Beer: it’s so awesome, it can heal you.
I do so appreciate the twisted, bizarre humor that runs like an infected vein throughout the WAR world, and never so much as last night when I respecced back to Tinker (bombs were fun, but too predictable) and had enough mastery points to finally reach up and grab the Bugman’s Best ability. Bugman, as if you didn’t know, was possibly the best dwarf who ever dwarfed, mostly because he made such a potent brew that the stout people of whatever-we-call-Warhammer’s-world (New Jersey?) are just raving nuts about it. The brewery that makes it is actually a battlefield objective, and it’s a point of pride that dwarfs keep it on the side of Order.
So anyway, this funky little ability lets me plop down a keg of BB, which then sends out “healing waves” of beer suds. I kid not. The beer is so incredibly strong that its mere fumes are enough to heal. The humor value of it alone somewhat makes up for its 1-second cast time (why do Tinker abilities all have cast times, especially for a mastery path that’s the *short range* path?), meager heal and 15-second limited duration (which is 5 AOE healing pulses). Now, in groups, I almost don’t engage the enemy at all, but just keep laying down gadgets — turrets, land mines, lightning rods, barbed wire… and BEER. Homer Simpson would be proud. Sometimes if I have extra time, I set up a Tiki bar and hand out refreshments for my group.
In other Syppy news, I’m poking and prodding at some alts-in-the-making. Perhaps I’ll start a reality show where I vote them off the PQ or something. I have Spooky, a White Lion who’s level 5 — she’s okay, but I’m far from sold on the Conehead look the High Elves sport, plus the wimpy axe and shawl-looking mane keep me from feeling like the man I know I am. Then there’s Shivers, a level 3 Witch Hunter, who I know I’ll enjoy playing but I feel guilty doing so until I have a tank or healer under my belt. What I am seriously contemplating is unleashing Wotworks — my comb-over’d, one-eye cranky dwarf Runepriest on the elf lands. I don’t fancy doing dwarf content zones again, but I could stomach the elf lands if I had a grumpy dwarf who could roleplay his way through the HE areas as a guy so addled that he forgot where he parked his car and he’s on an epic quest to get home… or find a designated driver.
Beer. Heal responsibly, kids.