SpecuTankion! …that didn’t quite work

October 19, 2008

Anyway, with the news that the Black Guard (motto “There is no Black Guard. Move along.”) and Knight of the Blazing Sun (motto: “Two scoops of manliness in every character!”) are returning to the game, it raises a few questions:

  • Did the KotBS get a graphical bump to make them more “fearsome” looking?
  • Assuming that KotBS gets the “aura”/”command” mechanic and the Black Guard gets the “grudges”/”hate” mechanic, how will they fare against their mirror counterparts?
  • Will Swordmasters decline in popularity? Ironbreakers?
  • Will both tanks have dual gender options?
  • To make up for how non-threatening some of the Order classes appear, will the Black Guard simply have pillows duct-taped to his or her person?
  • Does that last question make you think “Pillow Fight!” ability?
  • Are the two cut melee classes being held from reinstatement due to a priority on tanks, a question about the Hammerer career, or just due to Mythic wanting to dole out “new careers!” announcements?
  • Will we get an 11th character slot for those who like to have one character of each career?


  1. “Will we get an 11th character slot for those who like to have one character of each career?”

    Oh please please please please — might as well make it 12 right away since we know they’re going to bring the other careers back in sooner or later.

    My altoholic heart (liver?) was fine while we had 10 slots and 10 classes. Now, I’m starting to hyperventilate. Who will I NOT play?!

  2. The addition of new tank classes is an awesome move. But sadly, the Order/Destro imbalance will likely only be fixed once Games Workshop allows Order females to wear less clothing.

    Or at the very least, allow them to display some cleavage for pete’s sake. I hardly think the Order side should be made up of entirely asexual-looking women. You can hardly tell the sexes apart with High Elves…wait, you can. The prettier ones are definitely male.

  3. “Are the two cut melee classes being held from reinstatement due to a priority on tanks, a question about the Hammerer career, or just due to Mythic wanting to dole out “new careers!” announcements?”

    I can already see people getting up in arms about this whole issue. I think the truth is quite simple, the class mechanics for these two were already in the game and functioning.
    The melee dps mechanic still needs some tweaking, thus it is taking longer.
    No conspiracy. Though it is a good idea to add tanks before dps.

  4. Poor KoTBs … coming upon their concept art on hammer wiki I laughed so hard that I had to email it to a fellow WAR player with the subtitle. “Hello! I’m old and I wear a stupid hat. Go order.”

    I know it’s personal preference, but the only human class that doesn’t look totally ridiculous to me is warrior priest. Witch hunter you say? Pilgrim hat plus three muskateers rapier plus gun that would technically require one to two minutes to reload after each shot? Not so much >.>

    With Black Guard most likely going to be a vision of Dark Knight-ish face bashing, KoTBs needs to take a step away from looking like the picture of Francisco Pizarro from my 8th grade history book.

  5. I’m actually more concerned with Destro having an IB equivalent tank. Right now, I think IBs are slightly better tanks than BOs and Chosen (maybe I’m biased), and I think that little boost helps on most realms where Order is 1) outnumbered, and 2) has few tanks (because people apparently like playing dwarves (??!!) or elvish men in long … skirt-like cloth armor). Once the “cool” destro side has yet another “cool” tank that is every inch the equal of the few IBs, Order may well be that much more d00med than they already are.

  6. Oops, meant, “people DON’T like playing dwarves and elves”.

  7. I can’t wait for Black Guard to come out. They were what I wanted to play when I first heard about the Dark Elf classes.

    I’m sorry to see that the Order players are going to be playing fire engine red fops that can’t afford a shave.

    Perhaps that’s part of their tactic. We Destro guys will be roflmao when we see them coming and you can just mop us up as we will be unable to defend ourselves blinded by tears and convulsively shaking with laughter.

  8. The mechanic of Hammerer/Choppa was based on a ‘momentum’ system and apparently wasn’t up to par with Mythic’s standards so they postponed it.

    It’s hard to make order look “badass” because just what can you do to a good guy to make them look cool? It’s not like you can hang bloody chains and spikes from their armor. The best that could be done is making the male models more robust in the chest and beasty looking shoulder pads.

    I really hate how constrictive GW is with their IP. I think the game would have a *lot* more success if every class could be played by male AND female, along with letting them bend the rules a bit on appearance.

    I play an Ironbreaker because they are needed everywhere. Originally, years ago, my heart was set on destruction (and Choppa) but the crazy imbalance made me re-roll.

  9. Yeah I see a lot of people rolling a blackguard. It was an advantage that Order had the IB but if Destro has the equivalent but Order only gets a tank no one wants to play this will only further the imbalance in the game.

    They need to add a dwarf class that looks like the guys standing outside the dwarf starting area with teh Mohawk and tattoos.

  10. Order is definitely at a disadvantage for cool looking tanks, however badass doesn’t have to translate into evil or brutal looking. In fact, for Order, that would probably be a mistake. Knights should be, simply put, knightly. Big and strong is pretty universal but beyond that, perhaps go for impressive and noble looking. Yes they are limited by the IP but as the pictures in this previous post show:
    there are orders of knights that at least look a little more impressive. Another route to go, rather than evil, is the grizzled and rough look. The “good guy who has been though hell so that his family and country might be safe” kinda look. All in all, I think the Knights of the White Wolf would have been a better choice for the Empire tank, in terms of both look and background story.

    I think the other problem Order suffers from is that they are not really the good guys. There is a dark undercurrent to their story that is rather disappointing at times. The self righteous witch hunters chasing peasants around the ch.2 hub. The over all self righteousness of the cult of Sigmar in general. The skulls within the Empire’s heraldry and architecture. It really does seem that, while destruction is evil, they may well be justified in destroying the Empire. The Empire is just bad in a different way. I am not saying make the Empire above reproach, there are always bad apples in the bushel, but it might have helped to a least make the Empire seem like something worth saving. Some people do want to play these games from the perspective of being on the side of the good guys.

    So if you really want to be one of the good guys what do you do? Play and elf? Well, they do seem to be more noble, but they are also rather elitist and condescending to the “lesser” races. Even if you look past the “better than thou” attitude of the elves what are you left with? Not exactly left with a masculine looking tank, that’s for sure. And what is up with the condom cap they get for headgear? At least they Dark Guards will be suffering that same curse. Dwarves? Constantly drunk could perhaps be seen as a tongue in cheek character flaw but the whole grudge thing pretty much removes the idea of nobility from mind when thinking of the dwarves. Besides, short doesn’t translate into impressive or imposing for most people. So what is the deal with giving every “good” race such a fundamental character flaw? I guess western Europe and the US just loves to hate itself. Oh well, that is a problem that goes well beyond a game.

    Here is hoping that they don’t screw up the KotBS to badly. Hopefully they will look sufficiently imposing without being given some nobility killing, edgy back-story. They are, for now, our last best chance to have an impressive looking, good guy tank. And I better get an option in character settings for turning off the feathers without taking off my helm.

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