It’s The End Of The World As We Know It

June 25, 2008

Blogs are great models of how an epidemic plague might spread, if said plague was made out of words not typically run through spell-checker (*note: we at WAAAGH! do not believe in spell-checkers for religious reasons). Someone gets their tooth on an infected monkey of a story, and before you can say “Burn the corpses!”, it’s everywhere like a party rash. The Hot New Thing, if you will. And it’s an odd duty of a blogger to help spread the disease instead of contain it in a safe quarantine. I know, it doesn’t make sense, but I didn’t create blogs and I can’t fight anything with the suffix -og on it.

Today, my RSS feeds switched from yesterday’s contagion of “Richard Bartle gets his first 15 minutes of fame since 1978” to “OMG GIULD BATA!!!” While I had a humorous cartoon illustration of Bartle to share with you, well, out with the old and in with the new festering development.

So, yeah, to no one’s surprise that read the May newsletter or read the latest Herald article, guild beta codes are being shipped off to scores of happy-go-lucky cliques throughout the world with the promise of imminent inclusion into the closed beta …(you know, sometime in the next four weeks)… and that is that. The WAR community gives a happy sigh — one step closer to live release — and we can continue fighting the infection with flamethrowers and syringes full of grape Kool-Aid.

Except that this is decidedly not okay, since I — last time I checked — am not a guild, did not apply for this phase in the beta, and thus have probably the same odds of getting in as a manatee has swaying the boat-going public in Florida to take a rest and stay out of the water for a day so that their baby manatees don’t get chopped up into manatee chum. And YES, I included that last sentence solely so I could use a manatee graphic for this post.

The way I see it, the only way to rectify this clerical error is by forming a guild, commondeering a time travel vessel (I’m not picky: DeLorean, Time Booth or magical amulet, your pick), and going back a year or so and getting my foot in the door. And since we have established I cannot be a one-person guild, I need at least six brave souls who will unite in this eon-spanning cause to join my guild, Chrono Chaos, before we make the journey back to 2007 to change things and then return to the now to get our guild beta key.

Who’s with me?

Update! Here’s the entire Chrono Chaos guild roster thus far:

  • Syp: Fearful Leader
  • Darkgobbo: Orc Translator
  • BMR: Lazy Cousin of BMX
  • Matt: Time Machine Hog
  • CunningB: Lunch Herder
  • DexterDouglas: Party On, Dudes!
  • Moxie: Yes, Ma’am
  • The Hammered: Making Awkward Comments Since 2008
  • Vagrant: Touched In The Head
  • Werit: Time Dwarf
  • Khaos: Momma-In-Law’s Boy
  • Lske: Guild Plumber
  • roXet: eXtreme eXcitement
  • Mekoia: Pimple Patrol
  • Qatol: Impossible To Spell In Scrabble


  1. 1.21 gigawats! Great Scott!

  2. I’m all for joining your guild.

    /wink wink

  3. you best be glad orkz iz made for fightin not for thinkinz so im in! lol

  4. Love the Manatee picture, we just don’t see enough them posted to gaming sites these days.

  5. I’ll join the guild! However, I have one condition. You let me keep the time machine after we are done with it. 😀

  6. Count me in!, Providing I can herd dem damn Sqiugs!

  7. You forgot the all too famous Time Traveling…Phonebooth. Awsome! I’m with you, we don’t have the technology so we will power the machine on pure will power.

  8. I’m in. Let me call The Doctor and he’ll take care of it.

  9. I supposedly won a spot in the closed beta for winning a contest, but my possibly-imaginary beta invite is even more elusive than a little boy at a NAMBLA meeting. Count me in!

  10. The great powers, whisper to me… command me to join. Do you hear the voices too?

  11. Bah, I’d join but I need to be Order. Maybe I can form your arch-nemesis guild, but hey, we can share the time-travelling machine and then fight to the death? ;p

  12. Dwarfs in time! Werit is on-board and can fix, um, stuff.

  13. Could i borrow your time machine to go FORWARD in time to say… next october? You can pick it up then!

  14. It grows! IT GROWS!

  15. Syp, I think you’ll appreciate the dangers of time travel depicted in the lyrics of this fine song (http://video.google.ca/videoplay?docid=3353255801996270875&q=craig+cardiff+god+said+no&ei=JJRjSPzgCoL6-gHorZGWBQ&hl=en)! The video was actually taken from a concert in my home town! 🙂

    Here’s a mock-up verse just for you!

    I asked God
    Do one thing for me
    Send me back in time
    Send me to Fairfax
    Let me play
    The game they call Warhammer
    Try a little Gobbo
    Get myself some squiggies
    Play R-v-R
    Pwn some newbie Order
    Siege another fortress
    Burn another village
    God Said No
    If I sent you back
    If you really played it
    You would find it hard
    To keep writing on your blog
    Getting lots of pingbacks
    Entertaining the masses
    Having fun with speculation
    God Said No

  16. And on a personal, almost totally unrelated note – I’ve had a manatee bump into me while out surfing here in Florida – if that’s not enough to scare the hell out of you before you realize it’s a sea cow, nothing is.

  17. Khaos says let me in the guild. Also I have a spare time machine I use to get way from Mother-in-laws.

  18. Wrong website link in comment

  19. Dwarf Engineers have the technology. Lets do it.

  20. Ooh! Ooh! Pick me! Pick me!

  21. Granddaddy Nurgle has spoken to me and says that time travel is very pus ridden and I should join your very chaotic journey.

    PS Love the blog

  22. I’d gladly join your roster



  23. […] « Da Newz – June 26 Chrono Chaos: Mission Statement June 26, 2008 As our pretend time traveling WAR guild continues to grow in ranks (join today! fill out an application, i.e. “post a comment in the […]

  24. Heck yeah! This sounds like the best idea since Uwe Boll’s funding got cut. Sign me up!


  25. I’ve since been silently watching your ascension to the top of the Warhammer blogosphere since your first mention on Massively for your internet-fame-inducing Tome of Knowledge article. This is of course my first posting reply as I don’t have much to say for your blogging words say them perfectly…

    Wait that sounds like I’m sucking up…

    Maybe I am…

    Should I stop with the ellipses…

  26. Eh, why not, this could be fun!

  27. Time Travel, dangerus game, but fun. I imagine it would be much like attacking a keep with 8 or so people. Sign me up.

  28. Take me Syp!!!!!! You need some of my Greenskin engineering skills =O

    Now, do I bash or smash to make it work 🙂

  29. You always need bait. I make great bait. Im large and tall therefore people see me first. This is great for lots of things….tanking…..distractions….and death…..So pick me if you need someone to stand there and get whacked at while you all run in and sneak out some beta invites

  30. Chaos is our master

    Is there a chance to get on the list?
    We will do anything for the great powers

  31. Count me in.

    Artean, I got your back man!

  32. pick me! I’m the little pudgie Orc that is last to be picked by the other large clans. I carry a mean Choppa or two!!!

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