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Stamp Out Bad Guild Names!

June 9, 2008

As we continue our summer-long stretch gearing up for WAR — and this may require you to ingest a metric ton of Red Bull to match the excitement jitters of Paul Barnett — guilds are forming left and right in preparation. Friend A goes “Dude?” and Friend B answers “Dude.” and thus, a guild is born.

It’s important in these halcyon days to urge each and every would-be guild out there to pause before rushing up to the Guild Portal altar, and to think of a decent, somewhat original name for their band of brothers (and sisters). Like your own character name, guild names are all about identity — but in this case, the identity of a group. Herein lies the danger: if you hate your own character name, you can always reroll. If a guild slaps up the first dumb name or phrase that pops into their head and grows to regret it, chances are they’re stuck for life.

What’s more, guild names are your first, best hope of advertising. The actions of anyone with your guild tag will be forever associated with your guild, for better or worse. Moreso, people are alternatively repulsed and attracted to stupid and clever guild names, respectively. You may have the coolest, friendliest guild in these parts, but when people see <Bosom Express> as your guild tag, they aren’t going to come in droves. Yet if your guild name makes people laugh, or sticks in their head, or peaks their interest — you’ve succeeded in spreading your fame.

So consider this my act of public service for the week: helping would-be guild leaders to avoid falling into the same moronic traps of their forefathers. When considering a guild title, please avoid the following:

  • Let’s just agree to refrain from using “Dark”, “Night”, “Shadows”, “Death” or “Blood” in any guild name — they sound too emo-pretentious. Trust me, nobody is going to be awed by how darkly mysterious you’re trying to be.
  • ANY and EVERY guild name that uses a vague Latin phrase. Listen, people, it’s a dead language for a reason, and been beaten to death like a bad, bad horse in MMOs everywhere. It grates on my nerves like fingernails on a chalkboard whenever I see someone badly parsing Latin in a guild tag.
  • More overused words: “Phoenix”, “Order” (J.K. Rowling, I blame you for these), “Legion” (you’re not a legion, you’re six guys and fifty alts), “Knight”, “Alliance”, “War”, “Guild” and “Crusaders”.
  • Double so for <Allied Knights of the Phoenix War Legion>.
  • Triple so if you can rewrite the above in Latin.
  • Dull guild names… seen waaaay too many of these. Usually one word, usually forgettable.
  • Misspelled words. Please. It’s your guild NAME we’re talking about here… you can afford the extra ten seconds for a spell-check between liveblogging on Twitter.
  • Names that alternate caps in them LiKe tHiS.
  • Tired pop culture references with a shelf life of two minutes – <Paris Hiltoneers>
  • Short is sweet, unless there’s a darn good reason for maxing out the guild name line. Let me put it another way: the more words you have in your guild name, it better be exponentially more clever than a one- or two-worded guild title.
  • Anything that advertises immaturity or is offensive.
  • Leet speak. Good gravy, leet speak must DIE.
  • Anything that might have appeared on a fantasy Trapper Keeper in the 80’s and 90s – unicorns, rainbows, dragons, wizards and stars.
  • Something other people have done before, many times, to the point where it confuses people which guild you’re in (hey, I liked “My Little Pwnies” too, but enough is enough).
  • Following this template: “[Cliché] of [Place]“. <Crusaders of New Jersey> or <Order of Fries>. No, wait, that last one amuses me. Scratch that. <Order of Camelot>. There we go.
  • Accent characters — like your own character names, if you have to plug in weird ALT+159-ish characters into your guild name to either be weird or to because someone else has the exact same guild name, you fail. And you’ll piss people off, too.

Remember, kids, good guild names take effort, time and creativity — skimp on any of those, and you’ll skimp on your guild’s future!

P.S. – Get in your guess for our Open Beta/NDA Drop Office Pool today!

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23 comments

  1. Speaking of office pools, here’s another idea:
    – Go to your favorite Warhammer fansite forum.
    – Write down all the guild names in the guild recruiting forum.
    – Get everyone in your office to guess how many of these guilds will actually exist (with at least a dozen members) three months after release.


  2. lol not much left after that list (jk) My Lotro kin is called “Hand of Smack” right now and my wow one was “Tram Defenders” and my wow horde one was “Tram Invaders” :P Prolly all verboten for you :)


  3. I giggled! (funnily enough, my friends and I are still discussing guild names, but we only ever come up with comedy ones, which we have no intention of using)


  4. I’ve spent many ponderous hours over my guild name, and I still don’t have one, it’s quite the shame.

    Does the guild work as a name?


  5. Huh, didn’t put my name choice down…
    Paul’s possy


  6. I don’t like guild names that are all CAPITAL letters or, M.O.M.M.I.E. and when you ask them what it means they have no idea or it is some silly jibberish like Masters of Outerspace Mining Millions Incredibly Easy… I scratch my head knowing I just got dumber for asking and now knowing.


  7. Here’s my guild name!

    Shadowy ƒeeniX Dominae of Pwnz0r Barnetts


  8. The first WOW guild I joined was called Guardians of Darnassas. Well, “Darnassas” is accurately spelled “Darnassus.” But “Guardians of Darnassus” was already taken. So instead of actually coming up with a clever guild name, the GM just spelled Darnassus wrong on purpose. Yeah.


  9. Ah, just waiting to form my “Hello Kitty” guild. :)

    On a more serious tone though, got a question. Do you think guilds in Warhammer Online need to be as large as they are in WoW for them to be effective? I mean due to the mechanics of gameplay in Warhammer, interguild cooperation through alliances seems to be the name of the game. Therefore, you could potentially keep your guild small and focused without having to oversize it and thus induce drama along with way.


  10. “Horny Murlocs” ftw

    Grobblegoggleggbble!!!


  11. What I’m afraid of in WAR is the guild Waaagh, the guild Waaaagh, Waaaaagh, etc.


  12. “I’ve Got Candy Get In My Van” was a guild name I always used to chuckle over, it never made me want to join though.


  13. Must agree, sadly GW approval of guild names is not really feasible. it would be nice for every name to fit in the Warhammer world. I am not sure if WAR will have RP realms, if so it may be possible for limited player enforcement through reporting.

    I think guilds will be quite large in WAR. The larger the guild, the faster they level up. The alliances will help facilitate small guilds though, as they can get involved in the keep claiming (I hope).


  14. my WoW guild was named “Secret Cow Level” in response to the loading screen tip: there is no secret cow level =P
    not many joined tho and it died soon.


  15. Our guild name is “No.” I’m not sure if that’s acceptable or not, but I really like it.


  16. The guild names are just another sign that the RP in MMORPG is slowly fading away and not really accurate anymore.


  17. My wow guild is just for me and my friends, but I always thought “Murlocs Ate My Lunch” was a nice name ^^

    Going for Black Orc in War, but I refuse to join any Greenskin guild that has “Boyz” in it >__>


  18. I had alist of 15 guild names I could use, but my friends and I broke it down to 2. Which should I use: ‘The Apocalyptic Warriors’ or ‘The Legacy of the Forgotten?’


  19. [...] is “No,” which I think is great, but it might break some of the rules. Here are some examples of [...]


  20. [...] guild with a good name that I’m not embarrassed to display below my character’s [...]


  21. Socius Miles militis of Phoenix Bellum Legio


  22. I’ve always liked “Orgasmic Fury” or a serious one could be “Stuntie Puntuhz” if headed by an orc or goblin.


  23. Yea Keels Krunk Krew is a good name. Lasts about 1 day till it gets nerfed.

    We ran with Customer Support for about a month before they nerfed that one.

    They arent fond of Forced Entry either.



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